I want to have your abortion
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
