either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
