week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
