one two three fourrrrnication!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Your penis caused this!
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