totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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