He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
