: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
