Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
