yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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