Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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