So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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