You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
