Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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