What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
