Whats the count minus fat chicks?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Rumble strips road head = magical
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
