I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
