I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
