So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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