Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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