i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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