we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Even the bartender felt bad for me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize