I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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