so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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