You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
