But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
