you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
