Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
