you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
