Welp...herpes.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
