The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
