What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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