I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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