sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
