I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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