pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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