I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
