it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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