every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
