so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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