Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fuck appropriateness.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
