I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
