I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
