you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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