Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
