how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
