girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
