Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
