your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
