Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
