Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
