Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
