Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
