Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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