Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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