I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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