is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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