oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
