chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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