I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
