i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just had sex bonerless
its not stalking. its research.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
