if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
