Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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