i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
